Efforts For Him

Here am talking about you a person I love alot. According to him only he is the one who put the efforts in this relation. The things he do are good but am putting much more efforts than he ever could have imagined. Literally I went mad if he doesn't talk and he is okay with me dieing it sometimes feels so bad. it hurts so bad but i don't know why i am still with him. i am not able to leave him. i literally wish there could be a way that i just forget him totally or any way i am able to move on from him. i don't know if he ever read this . i hope he don't and i even don't know if he will ever read it, i would be even there or not or we will be together or not. if we are together , after reading this it may possible he start hating me or think or going away although he is already away but according to him if he tried to go away i don't know what would happen to me. if it was so easy to let go of me i won't even write this one. i do alot more than he ever deserve. i jst need his time only time and that also not out of pity. you know wht things i have done for him, fr talking to him, for his time. i started learning singing coz he liked it i thought we could talk on that, i started taking guitar lessons coz he play guitar, just to talk to him. i started watching the same series or movies he see so we can talk abt it. he is frank he talk to everyone i tried to do the same so we can b able to share things up just to talk. but u know when the person doesn't want u or u r too available fr person this is true that u jst loose ur self respect. there is no difference even on brk up. yes he would say don't go or try to stop me bt he will nvr going to do anything to make me stop. coz he has already taken me so forgranted that he thinks i'll go back to him. he has always left me in pain. he was there in happiness when even my enemy are there but in sadness , i am alone. i always have to go thought darkness alone. so i think i should have jst trt him the way i trt others coz he is not any different . i shouldn't be worried fr him or think of him. when i can go through my dark time alone then why i need him. where is he always when i need him. oh ryt helping some other people coz they are also important. oh no actually they are the one who are important . you are literally out of my life now. i don't want you anymore. i love you bt i have no expectations frm u. am jst protecting myself dong this. coz the person i thought wil protect is the one from whom i need to protect myself the most. he jst don't deserve me anymore. or he nvr evr did. i jst fell fr his words. i literally saw him turning into his real colours. he is nothing he used to tell. he can't gave me priority.. bt here fault is mine. i shouldn't have believe in the first place at all. he is the boy . they all are same. just need a girl's feelings to play  with. whtever i shd end it here now. i can write alot bt it's enough fr today. coz the truth is he don't evn deserve this. he may feel bad knowing these things bt he don't know wht i have been through. he sometimes don't even know why m i evn crying.  

A Free Bird

A free bird and a human

A free bird never belong to a human. A free bird know how to love and give freedom. But human is capable of doing one thing at a time. Either love and put that in cage or give you freedom because of not love. May be my words are not that appropriate but the think i wanna tell you that sometimes we try to be free bird while we are human. Don't try to be someone else when you are not. Here am taking a free bird as 'he' and a human as 'she'. Sometimes she try to make a free bird, a human. He is not a human. Yes she loves him. She loves him with all of her heart and soul. But she is wrong. She shouldn't love a free bird while she is human. He will not be able to love her the way she wants. He will never understand that if she loves me then why she put him in cage. According to him love is freedom and freedom is love. He have other free birds who is more important for him than her. She will be hurt realizing this. But here he is not wrong. She is mistaken. So I just wanna say try to love the person is of your type. If you are human find a human. If you are a bird find a bird. Otherwise you end up hurting others and especially yourself. It's a bitter truth but some people are not worth loving.